Frequently Asked Questions
What does BDSM stand for?
BDSM stands for bondage and discipline; dominance and submission; and sadism and masochism. These initials (BD, DS, SM) are then run together, removing the duplicate letters to form BDSM.Each letter pair represents subtly different types of play and interaction commonly found within our community.
How is BDSM different from abuse?
BDSM is not abuse. To contrast the two, let us first take a look at what abuse is, then see how BDSM is different.Abuse is verbal, emotional, or physical violence, often occurring in an accelerating cycle. Abuse is characterized by lack of consent of one person to the actions of another. An abuse victim is often isolated and lacks ability to stop the violence or leave. Abuse almost always occurs in secrecy, and results in emotional or physical injury. Abuse frequently occurs in combination with the use of drugs or the over-consumption of alcohol.
BDSM, on the other hand, occurs between freely consenting adults. It is practiced with a mind for safety, with explicit consent of the participants to their involvement. BDSM does not result in permanent injury, and those involved retain the right to stop involvement (or leave entirely) at any time if they choose to do so. Many BDSM enthusiasts will not practice BDSM while under the influence of alcohol or drugs; neither alcohol nor drug use are allowed at RKS. Furthermore, our events are staffed by dungeon monitors to maximize safety.
Why join RKS?
See the membership information.Why do I need to attend a munch before joining?
- It is a way for you to check out the group, first of all.
- We do this to protect our members and our society's integrity and confidentiality.
Am I too young/too old/too fat/too short/too _____?
If you're under 18, you're too young. If you're too closed minded, that may present a challenge too, but for pretty much anything else the answer is no, you're not too whatever. RKS members range from late teens to seventies with a variety of body shapes and sizes, political views, religious affiliations, sexual orientations, genders, etc.Are Masters/ slaves/ sluts/_____ welcome?
Yes. Our members are free to express themselves no matter what their kink or level of interest. As one of our members has joked,We believe in equal opportunity perversion.
I'm single/ partnered/ _____. Can I join?
Yes. We have members who are single, coupled, and in multi-person relationships. Some play only with their partners, others have open relationships regarding play. Some of our members have long-term, established vanilla (non-kinky) relationships and use RKS as an avenue to express their kinky side.So I can just show up and have sex with people?
No. First off, RKS does not allow sex or other forms of penetration. More generally, though, RKS is a social club, not a sex club– if you want a chance to play with others, you'll need to make friends with them first. Although each member has their own level of comfort for how well they need to know someone before playing, anonymous play is exceedingly rare.What if I'm not kinky enough? What if I don't like pain?
RKS doesn't have a hard definition for being kinky, and by no means do all kinks involve pain. If you've read stories on the 'net about parties with half the attendees shackled to the wall whimpering, the other half carrying whips, the sound of cracking lashes filling the air, then you've probably gotten the wrong idea. While this kind of scene does occur, kink is much more expansive— as simple as using a feather to erotically tickle your partner, dressing up and role playing, or using rope not to restrict movement but hold a toy (or even just a strategically placed knot) in place. One of the amazing things about sexuality is how nuanced it can be— and at RKS, we embrace that full range of kink.Is the RKS dungeon accessible?
Yes, the main entrance is accessible. However, since our parties are at night, all doors are locked. You'll need to ring our doorbell, which is at the side entrance. After the attendant has to come to the door and become aware of your needs, s/he can let you in the main entrance and show you to one of the elevators.Bathrooms on the same floor as RKS.
How much does RKS cost?
Attending a munch, social, or movie is free. Coming as a guest is presently $20 per visit. Membership cost varies by type of membership; see membership rates for more information. Workshop costs varies, depending on whether we have a local or visiting presenter, whether you are a guest or member, and the type of membership.What payment forms are accepted?
- Cash or check for both member, guest, and workshop fees.
- Credit Cards and PayPal are accepted, but must be sent in ahead of time since we don't have Internet access in the dungeon. (Please bring a copy of your PayPal receipt.)
What are RKS' rules?
See attending parties and play party rules.I'm coming into town overnight for a play party. Where can I stay?
Close hotels to the RKS dungeon are:- Strathallan Inn 550 East Avenue, Rochester NY 14607 Located on East Avenue near Goodman, the Strathallan is an upscale hotel with complimentary Internet. It's a half mile (a 10-minute walk) to either the East End entertainment district or Village Gate Square, both loaded with food opportunities. Most suites have a kitchenette including dishware and appliances.
- East Avenue Inn 384 East Avenue, Rochester NY 14607 At the corner of East and Alexander, the East Avenue Inn is in the heart of the East End entertainment district. Several restaurants, clubs, and other venues are within minutes walking distance.
