Attending Parties
What is Expected
Play safe.
- Remain drug and alcohol free while at RKS events (except socials)
- Check your partner's condition while scening
- Respect safewords
- Clean equipment after use
- Silence cell phones and pagers
- Do not interfere with others' scenes— keep voices low in the dungeon, walk around rather than through others' scenes
- Avoid monopolizing equipment
- Put equipment away after use
- Don't "out" other members
- Don't "out" the group— arrive in everyday clothing and change after you arrive
- Don't spread news or rumors about other members, their play or their partners
- Get consent before touching people or their belongings, including toys
- Accept "no" means no
- There is no toy or person-on-person penetration
- Exchange of bodily fluids is prohibited
This overview covers the major points. Before attending a party, you should review the complete play party rules and scene etiquette.
What to Expect
RKS is neither a sex club, swingers group, nor dating service; don't expect to see or get sex. RKS is a place to meet other kinky people, but it is up to you to be social and encourage friendship-building. If you happen to meet someone through RKS and hit it off, we're happy for you, but becoming a member makes no guarantees.
Expect to take some initiative on socializing. Someone will show you around when you arrive and some members will introduce themselves, but others will be busy catching up with friends they haven't seen in a while— be prepared to introduce yourself or join in a conversation. Hiding in the corner is likely to yield an unsatisfactory experience.
If you are coming into RKS from being an "online" player, expect to relearn everything you know. Online play is often unrealistic and stereotyped— most notably, if you're a dom, you're not every submissive's dom; if you're a sub, don't grovel before every dominant. Until you find someone and start to play, we're all equals. When you're done playing, you're back to being equal.
Do not expect that just because you've played with someone, that you will start dating or that they will go home with you. If that's something you want, talk about it beforehand.
Expect people to be, well, people. Just because we're into BDSM doesn't mean you must like everyone, or that we're all great. We're regular people with jobs, families, and other interests. Like any group, our membership is composed of people who are friendly and mean, shy and outgoing, resilient and fragile, easy-going and pompous. What you can expect is for others to show the same respect to you, that we expect of you.
Expect to see people of all genders (not just male & female), many fetishes & interests, and various states of dress or undress including nudity. There will be people dressed to the hilt in leather, PVC, rubber, lingerie and corsets while others are in a T-shirt and comfortable jeans (black and red are popular colors). Expect to see things you're totally intrigued by, and conversely expect things you are not entirely comfortable with— and be prepared to remind yourself that it is consensual.
Similarly, don't expect everyone to be into every aspect of play. Some people won't have your interests, and there may even be some who are bothered by your kinks. Remember that they're allowed their feeling, but expect them to respect your interest as valid too.
