Frequently Asked Questions

  • BDSM stands for:
    • bondage and discipline (BD)
    • dominance and submission (DS)
    • sadism and masochism (SM)
    These initials (BD, DS, SM) are then run together, removing the duplicate letters to form BDSM.
    Each letter pair represents subtly different types of play and interaction commonly found within our community.
  • BDSM is not abuse. To contrast the two, let us first take a look at what abuse is, then see how BDSM is different.
    Abuse is:
    • Unwanted verbal, emotional, or physical violence, often occurring in an accelerating cycle.
    • Characterized by lack of consent of one person to the actions of another.
    • Victim is often isolated and lacks ability to stop the violence or leave.
    • Occurs in secrecy, and results in emotional or physical injury.

    Quite the opposite, BDSM
    • Occurs between freely consenting adults.
    • Is practiced with all participants aware of the potential risks and a mind towards increasing safety.
    • Includes explicit consent of the participants to their involvement.
    • Participants retain the right to stop involvement (or leave entirely) at any time if they choose to do so.
    • Involves the use of safe words, allowing participants to communicate clearly.
    • Many will not practice BDSM while under the influence of alcohol or drugs; neither alcohol nor drug use are allowed at RKS.
    Furthermore, our events are staffed by dungeon monitors to ensure adherence to RKS' rules.
  • If you live locally, yes. However, in certain cases, you may attend a party as a guest without attending a munch.
    As for why:

    It is a way for you to check out the group, first of all. We do this to protect our members and our society's integrity and confidentiality. In a nutshell, we like to keep our regular meeting location and play-space discreet.

  • If you're under 18, you're too young.

    RKS members range from 18 to 60+ with a variety of body shapes and sizes, political views, religious affiliations, sexual orientations, gender identities, gender expressions, races, interests, experiences, and needs, etc.

  • Yes. Our members are free to express themselves no matter what their kink or level of interest, within the boundaries of play party rules.
  • Yes. Your preferred relationship style is unique to you. We have members who are single, coupled, and in multi-person relationships. Some play only with their partners, others have open relationships regarding play. Some of our members have long-term, established vanilla (non-kinky) relationships and use RKS as an avenue to express their kinky side.
  • No.
    RKS does not allow sex or other forms of penetration. RKS is a social club, not a sex club.
    If you want a chance to play with others, you'll need to make friends with them first.
    Although each member has their own level of comfort for how well they need to know someone before playing, anonymous play is rare.
    Couples interesting in swinging may want to look into Candle Light Associates and Exotic Fantasies.

  • RKS doesn't have a hard definition for being kinky, and by no means do all kinks involve pain.

    RKS is about education. And many new members are not sure where their interests lie.

    Attending munches and socials, as well as events at the RKS Dungeon allow you to:

    • talk to members about their experiences.
    • ask questions about things that interest you.
    • view members varying play styles at the dungeon.
    • attend workshops to learn about topics that spark your interest.
    • make new friends and possible play partners.

    If you've assumed or guessed what RKS is all about without seeing for yourself, then you've probably gotten the wrong idea.

    Kink can be anything you and your play partner define. It can be:

    • as simple as using a feather to erotically tickle your partner.
    • dressing up and role playing.
    • using rope not to restrict movement but hold a toy (or even just a strategically placed knot) in place.
    One of the amazing things about sexuality is how nuanced it can be? and at RKS, we embrace that full range of kink.

  • Attending a munch, social, or movie is free. Coming as a guest to a play party is presently $25 per visit and only $10 for the first time. The most common membership ("Silver") is $60 per quarter, but there are other types of memberships see the membership rates for more information.

    Workshop costs varies, depending on whether we have a local or visiting presenter, whether you are a guest or member, and the type of membership.

  • Cash, check, and credit cards are accepted for all fees.
  • See attending parties and play party rules. It's also a good idea to review scene etiquette.

  • Given the short distances and our lacking public transit to match all our hours of operation, we suggest walking, taxi, and hotel shuttle.
    • If using hotel shuttle, check with your hotel to ensure they'll pick you up until 2am when our parties close.
    • If you prefer the bus, the Radisson and Hyatt may be better choices: Rochester has a spoke-based transit system, and the hub is just outside these hotels, avoiding a pay-and-delay transfer to get just about anywhere. Public transit shuts down about midnight.
    Destination East Avenue Inn Hyatt Radisson Strathallan
    Getting Around
    Airport 8 miles 7 miles 7 miles 8 miles
    Train/Bus Station 1.2 0.7 0.7 1.4
    Shuttle No Yes Yes By reservation
    Transit Park Ave
    17 East Ave     		on hub on hub 17 East Ave
    Food Options
    Room food service No Yes Yes Yes
    In-house restaurant N/A Scene on Main Legends Sports Bar The Grill at Strathallan
    East End 0 miles 0.7 miles 0.8 miles 0.3 miles
    Village Gate 0.8 miles 1.5 miles 1.6 miles 0.5 miles
    Other food N/A Dinosaur Barbecue
    Legends Sports Bar     		Dinosaur Barbecue
    Scene on Main     		N/A
    Other
    Internet Free in room Paid in room Free in room Free in lobby
    RKS 1.3 miles 1.7 miles 1.7 miles 1.3 miles

    East Avenue Inn

    384 East Avenue, Rochester NY 14607
    585-325-5010

    At the corner of East and Alexander, the East Avenue Inn is in the heart of the East End.

    Strathallan Inn

    550 East Avenue, Rochester NY 14607
    585-461-5010

    Located on East Avenue near Goodman, the Strathallan is an upscale hotel with a classy restaurant. Most suites have a kitchenette including dishware and appliances.

    Radisson Hotel Rochester Riverside

    120 East Main Street, Rochester NY 14604
    585-546-6400

    Located in Rochester's downtown, the Radisson features all the typical amenities. It features an in-house sports bar and room service.

    Hyatt Regency Rochester

    125 East Main Street, Rochester NY
    585-546-1234

    Also located in Rochester's downtown and kitty-corner to the Radisson, the Hyatt is another full-service hotel. It features an upscale restaurant along with room service. Visit their respective web sites for contact information.

  • If you are presenting and will need a projector, easel, or other visual aid, let us know! We will do whatever we can to make sure that you are supplied with everything you need.