Frequently Asked Questions
Do you have any questions about kink or BDSM? Some answers might be listed below. You can also ask in our community forum.
What is the Rochester Kink Society?
It is a registered social organization for people that are interested in BDSM. It hosts social events for members and vetted guests, and provides educational resources to members and the broader community. It is a formally run organization to provide better accountability and governance.
What is BDSM?
BDSM stands for:
-
BD: bondage and discipline
-
DS : dominance and submission
-
SM: sadism and masochism
These acronyms are run together to form ‘BDSM’.
What Happens at RKS Play Parties?
There is a dungeon area with multiple rooms for doing BDSM ‘scenes’. Scenes are BDSM sessions that are done with consent and negotiated by the participants beforehand. There is a social area for people to talk and get to know each other in a relaxed setting. There is also a quiet area for people that do not want the sensory experience of the dungeon or social area.
What is a BDSM 'Scene'?
Most BDSM activity at a play party takes the form of ‘scenes’. Scenes are sessions of activity that are negotiated beforehand and have a beginning and end. While some people may enjoy watching or being watched, these are not performances in the traditional sense. They are done for the mutual enjoyment of the participants and not geared towards an audience. People who have not negotiated to be part of a specific scene should not interrupt scenes are interact with participants in any way.
What Do I Need to Do Before a Scene?
Everything that happens at an RKS play party, or other event, should be done with consent. Consent is where the parties involved in something agree to do it in advance. This can be as simple as asking someone if it is okay to hug them before doing so, or agreeing to do something in a scene in a formal negotiation process. The formal process where people agree to what will happen in a BDSM scene is called negotiation.
Do I Need a Safeword? What if I Have a Safety Concern?
If you are doing a scene you may call the house safeword, ‘red’. This will immediately end your scene and event staff will come to your aid. Other safewords for use within your scene may be negotiated with the people involved.
If you see something that is a safety concern for you, please ask a board member or event staff about it and avoid interrupting the scene or activity.
Who is At RKS Play Parties?
Only RKS members and vetted guests may attend play parties. People come to parties for a variety of reasons. Some come to play or just to hang out with like-minded people.
-
People who wish to socialize or observe BDSM scenes, either alone or with a partner.
-
People who have one or more BDSM scenes negotiated and planned in advance
-
People who are open to meeting others and negotiating BDSM scenes at the party itself. This is considered ‘pickup play’. There is a white board for people to share what they are interested in doing.
Is an RKS Event a Good Place to Get Casual Sex? Is this a Sex Club?
The short answer is ‘No’. Most events organized by the RKS do not allow sexual penetration. Also, while some attendees may be open to finding new sexual partners, you should not assume that people are open to this. Aggressively asking people for sex is considered rude and could result in being kicked out and banned from future events. The RKS dungeon is not a sex club.
Is Food or Alcohol Available in the RKS Space?
Free snacks and beverages are available at certain events in the RKS space. Alcohol is not served and intoxication is strictly forbidden in the RKS space.